in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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