Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
thus making me awesome and them whores
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
