He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Green mimosas i think yes
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
