Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize