just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm really busy with my period
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