I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize