So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize