I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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