He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
