omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
