i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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