Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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