And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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