laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
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It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
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And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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