i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
