You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
