Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
