I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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