omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize