Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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