hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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