Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
