I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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