Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
