I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
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ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
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I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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