My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
she looked like the before picture.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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