i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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