Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here

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(760): View more from California

Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?

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(314): View more from Missouri

10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza

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(812): View more from Indiana

i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities

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(360): View more from Washington

Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.

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(440): View more from Ohio

id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive

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(480): View more from Arizona

Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.

(1-480): View more from Arizona

I have to. For the sake of science.

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