I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize