I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
