do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
