Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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