Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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