So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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