She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
