Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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