I want to make a zoo with you.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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