i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
