dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
