I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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