Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
