I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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