That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
