I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
