Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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