Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize