its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
