I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
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I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
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I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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