is your mom at the bar?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
