We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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