My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
