whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize