oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
