How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
