WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
