Can i not drive my cunt home
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
