I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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