i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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