I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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