oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
