Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
