The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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