rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
