I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
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I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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