I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I will be naked everywhere
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
