Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's official drugs can't kill me
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
