i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i believe in u and ur pee
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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